Recently I told the story of one of the most extraordinary encounters I have ever had with another human being. But there’s a companion piece to that story, that happened at more or less the same low point in my life. Perhaps you could call it the most miraculous misdialed call I ever received!
I was at the time experimenting with a meditation practice that I had learned from a friend. This used the powerful words “I am” followed by whatever quality one wanted to experience in one’s life.
One Saturday morning I decided to explore this. I went into a deep meditative space and allowed phrases to come to me, beginning with those two words and ending in whatever quality I felt wanted to arise in me and my life.
It became quite a powerful experience, until I was really “in the zone”, not quite sure what was going on, feeling in the depths of my being a quality that most wanted to express itself through me, the ultimate truth of who I was.
“I am…..uhh….like God.” No, that wasn’t quite it.
“I am…….made of the same substance as God”. Erm… no. Try again.
“I am….. capable of all that God is capable of.” Hmm. No, that still wasn’t it. There was a word I was searching for but I just couldn’t find it.
Just then the phone rang. Usually I would let it ring in such circumstances, but suddenly I remembered with a jolt that I had arranged a game of squash with my brother Danny that morning, and that we had agreed that we would ring each other to finalise timings.
That was probably him now! And yet I was in no fit state to answer a phone. I was completely immersed in my meditation, and pulling myself out of it was like hauling a heavy bucket up from the bottom of a deep well.
The phone kept ringing as I staggered to my feet and walked with half closed eyes into the living room. I picked it up and clicked the answer button.
Already I could hear a lot of background noise. It sounded like a pub or a large outdoor gathering. This didn’t sound like Danny’s sort of place.
And then I heard a young woman’s voice. She sounded like someone having a fun time out with her mates, and calling one of them to ask when she was going to join the party.
I even remember her pausing like that, before speaking the name. A pause a bit like I had been making after the words “I am” in my meditation.
“Divinia?” I said. Oh man, I had hauled myself out of meditation for some party girl calling a wrong number!
“No,” I said with some annoyance in my voice. “No, there’s no Divinia here!”
I hung up and staggered back to my meditation, like a toad who can’t wait to slip back into his watery pond.
“Now, where was I? Ah yes… I am…. I am…”
And then it hit me. The strange, delicious magic of it all. She had finished my sentence.
This story always awes me. The sheer unlikeliness of her calling at one of the few times in my life when I would actually leave a meditation to answer the phone! In a way it was the most instantaneous demonstration of the power of those two words. Unable to finish my sentence, unable perhaps to fully believe in it, I had manifested a reflection from outside to help me.
I believe that this is the truth of us all, deep down. And yet to fully know and experience this truth would change our experience of life forever. We can recite such things but that doesn’t mean we really believe them.
Sometimes it takes a miracle like this to bypass the doubts and put in place a reminder that is impossible to forget.
I am divine. You are divine. We, the human race, are divine. Let’s not forget that.
Best wishes from Leo.
PS This summer I’m teaching Intuitive Storytelling in Oslo, Norway on 12+13th August. See here for more details and to book.
I’ll also be performing an evening of Storytelling and Songs with my wife Sundara on 9th and 11th August at two different venues in Oslo. See my Events page for more details and to book.